It's true. I am back! After a sabbatical to launch two boys, I am relieved and grateful to be back at the thing which has been a part of my life since my parents dragged me out to sing for company as a pre-schooler. Getting back to business has been easy. The hard part, the painfully slow part of my process, was realizing that one of the contributing factors to my discontent of the last several years had everything to do with the fact that I was missing an important piece of myself- the very core of my being.

I have to sing. I need to perform. I like to write music, and listen to all of the music I cannot sing as a classically ( and, mind you, expensively) trained singer. I practice and study the likes of Mozart, Verdi, and the bel canto masters, and the joy is returning. But when I am finished with that work (did you know that the word "opera" can be translated into English as "work?"), I crank up rock and blues, old and new, and fill my environment with music. At home. In the car. While I am writing on this blog. Everywhere. The only other sound I must have is silence. I require at least a few hours of silence and solitude every day or I can't function. Odd woman? Perhaps. But it took a good deal of psychic pain and the firm convictions of a few good friends to remind me that who I used to be is someone I still am.

When I had my sons, I welcomed the chance to escape from the madness of constant travel, being away from home for up to sixteen weeks in the summer, and the exhausting effort of managing good working relationships with difficult personalities. The sheer volume of opera scores to translate, memorize and work into my voice, often on short notice, and often, when performed in English, the ability to sort out different translations for different productions was sometimes overwhelming. So I did one-hundred percent mom for awhile. It was glorious and exhausting in it's own lovely way. But after a few years of all mom, all the time, I became increasingly depressed and anxious, and confused that I should be dissatisfied with my life. "Isn't this what I wanted?" Well, yes. And no.

 Typically, I catch onto something, and give it complete focus, as I did with my music for many, many years. When motherhood called, I dropped the former for the latter. I didn't know how to split myself over two creative processes at once. I know women who have and do, but for some reason I have yet to unwind in my thinking, I was not. But I am back. Something clicked that feels more "right" than I have felt for what seems like a long time. Now, I listen. I sing. I teach and write. And I mother. I have found the way to create wholeness from these two dichotomous yet singular bits of myself. Full circle.

Excellent! Well written and well felt. Welcome back!:)%20void(0);

The world rejoices! I'll be checking in on you as you continue your ascension. I will be in LA for that business in May should you care to dine or wine or whine.
Lovely!